Real Post (Week of 8/26/2023)

 

Hello everyone. If you couldn't tell, the post I made yesterday was a troll post. Daniel, Mitch, Zestpond, Trey, and I made up a second fake countdown that I probably wouldn't have been involved in had I not had the idea of a fake countdown that contained Rich Men North Of Richmond by Oliver Anthony Music debuting at #3. I would have gotten this post out yesterday, but I had a gig with the UC Marching Band where we played at a UC volleyball game (which they didn't win, unfortunately). That leads me to my next announcement, my post for next week might be out late as the UC Football home opener is next week, so the band will be busy with that all day. On to this week, it was almost as though Seth Macfarlane or Matt Groening helped us make the fake countdown, because movements, exits, and entrants were similar on both countdowns. Here are the exits:

Lil Durk/ Morgan Wallen- Stand By Me (#23 last week)

Ed Sheeran- Eyes Closed (#18 last week)

Jonas Brothers- Waffle House (#14 last week)

Countdown:

30. Charli Xcx- Speed Drive (Debut)

29. Crash Adams- Sugar Mommy (Debut)

28. Olivia Rodrigo- Bad Idea Right (=)

27. Doja Cat- Paint The Town Red (+3)

26. Post Malone- Enough Is Enough (=)

25. New Jeans- Super Shy (+2)

24. Billie Eilish- What Was I Made For (-2)

23. Nicki Minaj/ Ice Spice/ Aqua- Barbie World (+2)

22. David Kushner- Daylight (Re-entry)

21. Dominic Fike- Mona Lisa (-8)

20. Benson Boone- In The Stars (-4)

19. David Guetta/ Anne Marie/ Coi Leray- Baby Don't Hurt Me (=)

18. Noah Kahan/ Post Malone- Dial Drunk (+3)

17. Sza- Snooze (=)

16. Fall Out Boy- Hold Me Like A Grudge (+8)

15. Kylie Minogue- Padam Padam (+14)

14. Lil Durk/ J Cole- All My Life (-5)

13. OneRepublic- Runaway (-3)

12. The Weeknd/ Madonna/ Playboi Carti- Popular (-1)

11. Miley Cyrus- Jaded (+9)

10. Jungkook/ Latto- Seven (+5)

9. Fall Out Boy- We Didn't Start The Fire (+3)

8. Fifty Fifty- Cupid (-5)

7. Olivia Rodrigo- Vampire (+1)

6. Jonas Brothers- Summer Baby (+1)

5. Doechii- What It Is (+1)

4. Harry Styles- Satellite (=)

3. Dua Lipa- Dance The Night (+2)

2. Crash Adams- Give Me A Kiss (=)

1. Taylor Swift- Cruel Summer (=)

Countdown Extra: Aespa- Better Things

Last Year's #1: Harry Styles- Late Night Toppling

#1 Two Years Ago: Ed Sheeran- Bad Habits

My Favorite Song Last Year: Black Eyed Peas/ Shakira/ David Guetta- Don't You Worry

My Favorite Song Two Years Ago: Dua Lipa- Love Again

#1 Recommendation For Hits 1: French Montana/ Swae Lee- Wish U Well

Aside From AM:PM by Notd and Maia Wright, all of the entrants from the fake countdown entered the actual countdown. First up, we have yet another song off the Barbie soundtrack, this being Speed Drive by Charli Xcx. This is just good. She sounds alright and it has cool production, there's somethingabout it that I'm just not feeling. We shall see how this does.

Next up, Crash Adams are back on HB for the first time since Give Me A Kiss hit #1 last month. I like that song better than this new one, Sugar Mommy. Despite the strange title, this is good. Whoever's singing sounds good and I like the production, some of the lyrics are odd. It's fine though.

Lastly, Daylight by David Kushner re-entered again. Ok then.

Hitbound

Flyana Boss- You Wish

Miley Cyrus- Used To Be Young (Debut)

Chris Brown- Summer Too Hot

Selena Gomez- Single Soon (Debut)

Jordi- Just A Friend (Debut)

Charlie On A Friday- I'm Not Crazy

Nightly- Shirt (Debut)

Max/ Jvke/ Bazzi- Strings

Diplo/ Jessie Murph/ Polo G- Heartbroken

(Gi)- Dle- I Do

Paul Russell- Lil Boo Thang

Thomas Day- Gravity (Debut)

Peggy Gou- It Goes Like

Aespa- Better Things

Travis Scott/ The Weeknd/ Bad Bunny- Kpop

Lauv- Love U Like That

Oh great. Is Miley Cyrus working on a follow up to Endless Summer Vacation? Well, that's her most overrated album despite River being quite good, because Flowers and Jaded are quite the annoyance. And now Used To Be Young is here and it's quite mediocre. It's a ballad that doesn't evolve at all, and if this were Malibu from six years ago, it would be alright. But we're post Flowers/ the rest of Endless Summer Vacation, and the melodies on this sound a lot like those of Jaded. Jesus Christ. I know she's capable of better music, why can't she make that these days?

On the topic of artists whose music I have liked in the past but have had disappointments recently, Selena Gomez is back with Single Soon. And this is also kind of a disappointment. She sounds fine and the production is good, but it's really forgettable and it should have been in a different key. It's fine though.

Really guys? We're picking up on follow ups to an annoying song that lasted way too long on HB earlier this year instead of follow ups to a legendary hit from my freshman year of High School? God, I don't know anymore. Anyway, Hits 1 picked up on a second Jordi song after Hate You lasted way too long on here, this is called Just A Friend. This is better than Hate You. She sounds better here and the production is a lot better, but if this lasts too long, we might have some problems.

And our last two debuts are from random newcomers, because why not? The first is called Shirt, and it's by a band called Nightly. This is honestly a lot better than Sza's song of the same title from late last year. Whoever is singing sounds pretty good and I like the production. Fun song.

Lastly, we have a dude named Thomas Day (not to be confused with Day Day Thomas from the UC men's basketball team) making his debut with Gravity. I have a feeling that Waffle's going to hate this one, especially since Zestpond compared this to a Lewis Capaldi song. As for my opinion, the song is decent. Thomas Day sounds pretty good, almost like a cross between Benson Boone and Omar Apollo. It is pretty slow, however, and there is almost no production here. But the key this is in makes it better than it should be.

We lost Lipstick, Need A Favor, and Mind Your Business. Lipstick was a pretty good Charlie Puth song, but he's definitely done better before. And Need A Favor and Mind Your Business really should've debuted the countdown.

Blurbs:

Our exits were the all exits from the fake countdown except for Super Shy by New Jeans, which climbed two spots on the real countdown. Eyes Closed and Waffle House had great runs and will be missed, and Stand By Me deserved better.

At least Paint The Town Red didn't actually hold on to the #30 again.

Noooo why did Mona Lisa drop 8 spots? This should be in the top 10 now!

Glad Hold Me Like A Grudge is doing well.

Surprised Padam Padam jumped 14 spots, but I'll take it.

I really hope All My Life re-enters the top 10 next week.

Ok why did Jaded rebound? At least it didn't jump into the top 5 like it did in the fake countdown.

Yes! We Didn't Start The Fire is top 10 now!

I hope Cupid continues dropping. This is still getting annoying AF.

Why is Cruel Summer still #1? I hope Dance The Night overtakes it next week.

I guess that does it for me this week, see you guy next week.